| "How come I came home and it didn't solve all my problems?"
"V...it wasn't supposed to solve all your problems. It was just supposed to allow you to escape all of your problems and get away from everything so you can gain some perspective."
oh.
Here's another one, then. How come I can't escape myself? Everywhere I turn there are mirrors of my painful past, confusing present, and terrifying future that scream in my face and I have nowhere to go to get away. Even if I had somewhere to go, I couldn't get there fast enough and the worst part would be as soon as I got there, I just know that I would want to turn around and come back. Because apparantly I'm never happy. Or something.
Here's another thing. It is just a personal note so that maybe in a long time I can look back and see this and say omg, that's true! See...Something was missing when I was here. Then I went there and I found it. Now I'm back here and it's gone. But when I go back there, it will be gone, too. So what can I make of that?
I just want to stop feeling like this. God, help me
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| I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
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it's not a pity party. it's my real true feelings. how come other people are allowed to have them but the second i have them and i express them, there's a problem? why can't i just screeeeeeeeaaamm???
i have this many people to go home to in new york city: 0
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| i wanna go to the game today!!!!!!!! :(
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